The Heroes of Amestris
by Andrea1991
Summary: After insurmountable life circumstances take place, Mustang must adapt by leaving behind the life and goals he once knew while struggling with his notions of right and wrong. Warning: Sexual situations, homosexuality, and adult content.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood or any of the characters.

The ringing buzzed ominously in Mustang's ear as he held the receiver in his gloved hand. Leaning against a phone booth in Central City, he wondered just what the hell he was doing. His usual cockiness was barely keeping its head above the waves of doubt threatening to overpower him.

He chuckled quietly to himself. _Heh. Look at me. The hero of Ishbal shaking in his boots from a simple phone call. _

He couldn't remember the last time he'd spoken to him. It had been several years ago now. Ed had had is own life to deal with, and so did he. It's no surprise that trying to acquire the most powerful position in a shaken Amestris kept him much busier than he had wanted. But what he had wanted didn't matter at the time. That philosophy didn't actually apply to him anymore. He didn't know how to do this, to follow these selfish personal conquests. Shaking his head in surrender, he was just about to replace the receiver when that familiar voice flooded his ear from the other end.

"Hello? Edward Elric speaking," said the voice.

"Hey, Fullmetal," Mustang greeted, forcing his typically easy charm.

The tone of Ed's voice shifted quickly. "_Mustang_? Just what the hell do you want, Colonel Bastard?"

Mustang's stomach dropped. _This was a bad idea. _Despite his attempts to be cool, his voice cracked infinitesimally. "Just doing some follow-up with old employees, Fullmetal. Glad to hear you are as lively as ever."

Edward's voice again changed, but to a lighter tone. "Ha! Nobody's called me that in years. And I'm just joking, Colonel. How've you been? How's Central?"

A small genuine smile emerged on his face. "Busy as ever. Though I can't complain."

"Which means you have Hawkeye still picking up your slack," Ed jibed playfully.

"I don't know what you mean." Mustang grimaced. _He's as irritating as ever._

"Anyway, what's with the phone call? I haven't heard much from anyone since I left the military three years ago."

"Well…" He felt his stomach churn uncomfortably. "I need a favor, Ed."

Judging from his tone, his interest was piqued. "Yeah? What kind of favor?"

"I was thinking of taking a break for a while. You know, going on leave for a few weeks. You're one of the few people that I know that doesn't live in a big city. So, I… My subordinates thought I…" he faltered.

"You want to come stay with me? Sure, that's fine by me. I have to warn you though, my place isn't that big."

Relief quieted the twisting in Mustang's stomach. "When can you have me?"

"Hell, catch a train today. I don't care. Whenever you can."

"Good. I'll be there in two days."

"See you then." He heard a click and then silence. The man lightly hung the receiver back on its hook and stepped out of the booth. Adjusting his gray coat collar to protect him from the falling rain, he meandered through the dark streets towards his apartment.

The next day he had an appointment at the local café. Although it was sunny out and the streets were full of cheerful passerby, Mustang held a somber and slightly sour mood. He rounded the corner and saw that she was already there, patiently sitting at their usual wrought iron table.

"Hey," he said casually from behind.

Riza turned her head to look over her shoulder to see who had spoken, even though she didn't need to. She would always recognize that smooth voice. She smiled gently in his direction, then faced the table again. Across from her and placed on the table was a steaming cup of tea. Mustang took his seat in front of the tiny cup but did not touch it.

Mustang gazed into Hawkeye's face, studying it. "You look well."

She awarded him a warm yet small smile. "Thank you, Roy."

He smirked. "Aren't you supposed to tell me how well I look?"

Her face became somber. "We both know how you look."

Mustang simply cast his eyes down to study the teacup. It was true. He was able to hide it better before. But the fatigue, the dark circles under the eyes, and the sallow skin had all forced their way into the awareness of his peers. And then forced him out of the military.

"I'm glad, you know," Hawkeye said, interrupting his reverie.

"Glad for what?"

"That you finally heeded my advice. The military was destroying you."

"It doesn't matter what my duties did to my life. But I'm useless in my condition." He thought back to yesterday, when he walked his lonely journey home in the rain. _I've always been useless. Who am I kidding?_ He peered into her eyes, the grim reality distorting his handsome face. "Early retirement was, _is_, my only option."

"You may not become Furher like we had all planned, but your actions made way for this country to heal. You are the hero of this country."

"You're wrong there. Elric is the hero of this country."

"He saved it, yes. But you rehabilitated it. Don't disregard the good you've done here."

"That may be. But I'll have to leave the fate of the country to others' hands now."

She reached across the table and took his gloved hand in hers. "That doesn't have to be a bad thing."

They sat there, staring at each other in meaningful silence. Then she stood up and for the final time saluted her superior officer. "It was an honor and a privilege serving with you, sir." Her eyes bored into his, honoring him with every ounce of her being. He nodded to her, accepting her goodbye. He went back to staring at his now cold cup of tea as she purposefully walked away, knowing full-well that this was the last time he would ever see his most trusted friend and ally again.


	2. Chapter 2

Mustang unsteadily stepped off the train into the Resembool sunlight. The brief thought of acquiring a cane crossed his mind, but his stubborn pride shoved the thought away. Accompanying him was a single suitcase. It was all he was capable of carrying, and the last thing he wanted was to appear weak in front of Edward.

He scanned the crowded station expectantly, searching for the blonde source of his mounting anxiety. Somehow he visibly remained composed, even though his insides were contorting in very uncomfortable ways. Clutching his suitcase, he wondered if he looked any different after these last few years. Did he still have his long yellow hair? And what about that ridiculous red coat? Despite himself, he smirked. He hoped that at least _that_ much had changed. The multitude of people slowly thinned out until it was only him and an elderly couple visiting quietly on a bench that remained.

The ball of anxiety that had threatened to overtake him was replaced with an eerie numb sensation. It felt similar to disappointment. Maybe confused disappointment. In an attempt to escape this strange feeling, Mustang wearily trudged to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Out of habit he shot a glance in the mirror and was disgusted at what he saw. Dead eyes stared back at him. Even if Edward's changes in appearance were unknown, Roy's were definitely unmistakable. He lifted a hand to cover his face, stifling a revolted groan.

_It's times like these that I wish I was still blind._ His fingers fumbled along the wall until they found the light switch. Mustang flipped it downwards to extinguish the light. Hurriedly, he twisted the faucet knob and splashed cold water on his face. _What am I doing here? He can't see me like this. _The thought of such humiliation nearly made him gag. One of his knees hit the floor as he all but collapsed, his hands gripping the sink to hold him up. _I'm leaving. Immediately._ With a heavy grown he lifted himself up, using the sink for support. Leaving was the only way to preserve the last shred of his dignity. Not bothering to turn the light back on, his fingers pushed the door open just enough to give him space to pass through as inconspicuously as possible.

Just as he managed to manipulate his face into a mask, he saw what he dreaded: Edward Elric. The younger man turned at the sound of the door opening and closing, curiosity displayed across his features. His face was no longer that of a boy's. Mustang had no words to describe what he felt when he laid eyes on him. And apparently, Edward felt the same way.

"Mustang… Uh, hey." His golden eyes were wide, taking in the sickly appearance of his longtime friend.

Roy did the best he could, standing as tall as he was capable and forcing a smile. "It's been a while, Fullmetal." He gripped the handle of his single suitcase until his knuckles turned white.

"Yeah, it has. Are you feeling ok? I know the military is stressful, but-"

Mustang's business demeanor kicked in. "I'm doing just fine. I've just pulled a few all-nighters and a cold's going around the office. That is all."

Edward stepped forward, eyeing the lone suitcase. "Well I'm sorry I kept you waiting. I was doing some cleaning around the house and lost track of time. Let me take that." He reached forward to carry the older man's luggage.

Roy pulled back slightly. "I've got it."

Edward looked up at him questioningly, but decided to drop it. "Ok. Follow me."

The two began walking, Edward deceptively slowing his normal pace to stay alongside his previous superior. Cheerfully, he said, "You picked a great time to visit. I've been living with Granny for a while now and I finally got my own place. I still had boxes lying around when you called the other day. I just got done unpacking the last of my things. It'll be nice to have you around to help me transition to living on my own."

"Al's not with you?"

"Nah, he moved to Xing about a year ago. You remember that little girl that fought along side us in Central? Al's moved out there to be with her."

"Wow. He grew up fast."

"Well he is 19 now. And we both know that Al is a lot older mentally than he is physically," Ed laughed.

"I bet they'll be happy together."

Ed grinned at him and they continued walking in silence for a while. Mustang slowed a little in his fatigue, and was soon following his companion instead of flanking him. He noted that Ed was in fact not wearing his notorious red coat, but instead wore a dark button down shirt and slacks with his hair in a ponytail. Seeing him with both of his flesh arms still amazed him.

_This boy—no, _man_—can really do anything._ Edward had always exemplified the naiveté and strength that Roy himself had once possessed. Although some would argue that Roy was still naïve. _Maybe I am. But hell, what does it matter now?_ As his mind wandered, so did his eyes. The confidence of his gait, his broad shoulders, how he casually stuffed his hands into his pockets, everything was so… fascinating. Mustang's eyes lowered to Ed's waist, noticing how his shirt suggested a slight curve from his back to his butt.

He forced down a blush and looked away to the countryside. It really was beautiful here. Which was a good thing, because if the landscape wasn't so distracting then it would have been a very long walk to the Fullmetal Alchemist's home.


	3. Chapter 3

To my readers/reviewers: Thank you all so much for your reviews! They were very inspiring and made me think of a lot of ways to take this story. I hope the story can live up to your expectations!

After a very long—and for Mustang, arduous—walk, the pair arrived at Ed's new home. But even though the building itself was new, the place was not.

Roy's mouth opened in shock. "Isn't this-?"

"Yep," Edward replied casually. "This is where my childhood home once stood."

Mustang swallowed, regaining his composure. "It's a beautiful home. And a beautiful spot."

Edward stepped forward, beginning the short march up the hill to his house. Besides the fact that it was a small, two-story home, it did not bear much resemblance to the place that he and Alphonse had burned to the ground in their youth. This house was a light blue with a big brown door.

"This is pretty tame, considering your typical sense of style."

Ed laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "Yeah, Winry and Granny kinda talked me into something a little more ordinary. I built it with my own hands."

"Is that so?" They stepped through the front door into a quaint living room. It held little furniture but compensated this fact with a large collection of research journals and science texts piled high on an overwhelming bookshelf. After a quick glance at some of the titles, Roy asked, "How are you holding up? Without being able to perform alchemy anymore?"

The younger man sighed. "Well, to be honest it's been a hard transition. I can't deny that I miss it. It's like a musician losing his ability to hear. It seems a little hopeless at first. But some deaf musicians can overcome their obstacles and still compose music. Just like those musicians, I can find new ways of doing what I used to be able to accomplish." He grinned and removed from his pockets bandaged fingers for Roy to see. "Even if it's not as easy as before."

He nodded in understanding. "Well said."

"Anyway, you're probably exhausted. Why don't I show you to your room so you can rest for a while?"

Mustang inwardly let out a sigh of relief. The thought of standing much longer was appalling to him. "Yeah, I could use some time to recover from the train ride."

"Follow me."

Edward led his guest up the stairs and down a narrow hallway. He stopped at a door halfway down. "This is your room. It's not very big, but you'll have your own bathroom right across from you." He pointed a thumb over his shoulder to indicate another door directly across the hall from the guest room.

The taller man gingerly stepped into the room and looked around. "It's perfect."

**Some time later… **

Roy's eyes finally fluttered open. He was sprawled across the bed, almost too big for it. But even so, he could not remember the last time he was so comfortable. So… relaxed. Languidly, he placed an arm across his face, shielding his eyes from the sliver of light creeping in from under the door. His military habits made him suddenly wonder what time it was, but then he realized that he didn't care.

_I'm "on leave". _He half-heartedly joked to himself. _I can do whatever I want now._

The thought drew his attention to Edward. Just thinking his name created a tight feeling in Roy's stomach. For a brief moment he imagined his hands sliding up Ed's shirt, his fingertips touching his beautiful body and arousal flushing the younger man's cheeks.

Mustang flipped onto his stomach, pressing his hardened member into the mattress. He had never been so aroused by such a simple image. But then, he also hadn't allowed himself to have thoughts like these in a long time. Becoming furher and paying his debts to the Ishbalins had taken up most of his energy and time. Spending time to think about as personal and crude things as sexual desires had seemed like an insult to his mission. However, now he had no responsibilities and no one that needed him. For the first time he allowed himself to fantasize about whatever he wanted, and what he wanted was Edward.

An image of Ed lying seductively face-down on his bed flashed into his mind's eye. His groin throbbed, yearning for more. Mustang thrust his hips, shoving it more forcefully into the mattress. Next he imagined the sound of Edward muffling moans with a pillow. He ground into the bed again.

Flipping onto his back, Roy's hand crept down to take hold of his erection. He imagined it was Ed's hand, teasing him by flitting his fingers along various sections of skin. Stifling a moan, his thumb rubbed along the tip.

A huge crash and a yell suddenly came from downstairs. Mustang was yanked out of his fantasy in alarm. Quickly leaping out of bed, he stumbled through the door and down the stairs.

The bookshelf was toppled over, books and pages strewn all over the floor. Edward lay pathetically pinned under the heap of wood and texts, his face showing both annoyance and hilarity at the situation.

"What happened?!"

"Well Mustang, it looks like I need to build a better bookcase," Edward replied with a groan.

The darker man moved forward and grabbed Ed's elbow to pull him out from the heap. It took less effort than he expected. While he exerted a lot of effort to assist his host, he was still able to do so without completely spending his energy.

"You look a lot better," Ed surmised, brushing the dust off of his slacks.

"Actually, I _feel_ better."

"Looks like you really did need a vacation from work. I'm sorry if I woke you."

"No, I was just waking up when I heard the bookcase fall." Mustang heard embarrassment thicken his voice slightly. He quickly left the subject. "How long was I asleep?"

"I guess about fourteen hours. It's six in the morning. Here, I'll get some coffee going."

The young man left the wreckage in the living room and strode into the kitchen. Shaking his head, Roy chuckled softly and rubbed the back of his head. _Maybe coming here wasn't such a bad idea after all._


	4. Chapter 4

Just as the morning sun peeked over the horizon, Mustang took a seat at the simple—and noticeably rickety—wooden table in the kitchen. While his eyes surveyed the rough patches that were obviously missed by an incredibly inexperienced carpenter, he addressed the blonde.

"Just how much of this house did you build?"

Edward continued preparing the coffee, his back to his guest. "Most of it, actually. Even most of the furniture."

"I can tell," he smiled, running his fingers lightly over the unsanded sections.

"I know, it isn't much." Edward turned and gave him a sheepish grin. He was clearly embarrassed.

"Not at all. I'm very impressed."

The younger man seemed satisfied. "At any rate, the furniture was kind of a rush job. I spent a lot more time and effort on the house."

He returned to his work with the coffee. Mustang sat in silence, watching the muscles in Edward's back flex and shift through his shirt as he poured the ground beans in the machine.

Clearing his throat quietly, Mustang continued. "But I do wonder… What possessed you to rebuild on top of your family home?"

Edward paused, then slowly spun around to face him. "It's simple, really. You know how Al and I burned our home down as a symbol of our resolve?"

"Yeah, I remember that."

"Well as far as that goes, we accomplished our mission. Al has his body back and I got most of mine back," he said, indicating his automail leg. "So there's nothing to turn back from. But there's something else."

Roy narrowed his eyes, studying Edward's face for this hidden reason.

"I didn't want to run from what I did anymore. I burned down my mom's home to hide from what I had done. And in order to truly face it, I thought it would be the best place to start my own family."

Deliberately, slowly, he questioned, "What do you mean 'start your own family'?"

Edward smiled happily. "Winry and I are getting married. The wedding's not for a few months still, but now that the house is finished I'm finally ready."

Mustang's dark eyes widened a minuscule amount, barely betraying the rancid taste flooding his mouth. Hurriedly he masked this by an overly ecstatic reaction.

"Edward! That's… That's wonderful! I'm jealous! I'm still stuck living the bachelor's life. Congratulations!"

"Thanks, Roy!" Ed's grin couldn't get any bigger. He showed Mustang his back again, dealing with the brewing coffee.

Mustang struggled to manage his composure. _Get a hold of yourself, dammit! _He gripped the leg of the table, hiding his shaking hand from view. Forcing a still overly-cheerful disposition, he attempted at teasing him playfully. "So where is the lucky lady? I can't imagine her not wanting a say in the furnishings of the place."

"She's finishing her apprenticeship in Rush Valley. Her involvement as a hostage before the Promised Day set her back." He set two steaming cups on the table and sat down. "She has a lot of things to wrap up with her customers before she can officially come back home."

"Well that's good. Good for both of you." Roy was at a loss of what to say. Never could he remember feeling so dumbfounded.

"Yeah. Well I think I'll head into work a little early today." Ed raised his arms above his head, stretching his muscles.

Mustang looked at him, surprised. "You work?"

Ed gave him a quizzical look. "Of course. I mean, I had a lot saved from working for the military, but I spent it all and more on building this house." He gave Roy a boyish smile. "A man's gotta make a living."

"Right. So what do you do?"

"I'm the chief engineer at this new factory that opened up at the edge of town."

"So that's what all of those research and science books are for?"

"Yep. I'm trying to come up with the best way of going about things. Plus, I love learning other sciences. It's like a hobby of mine. They don't measure up to alchemy, but they come close."

Both men laughed, but Mustang was dying inside. The former alchemist pushed back his chair and stood. "Will you be alright here on your own?"

"Of course."

"All right. I have a meeting today with the owners of the factory, so I might not come back til late." Grabbing up his coat, he placed his empty cup in the sink. "Make yourself at home." Without waiting for a response, he strode through the house and headed down the hill.

Now that Edward was gone, Mustang hung his head. _Of course. I'm such an idiot. Of course Ed has a life. An upcoming marriage, a job, a house… And I just barged into all of it._ _How presumptuous of me to think I could just come here and-_

Come here and what? What exactly was his intention in coming to Resembool? Guilt and shame took the form of the flames of hell, licking and curling at his back. The answer was there in those flames. He wanted _him_. Mustang had thought that for once he could take what he wanted.

_It seems that The Truth had taken more than just my eyesight when I opened the Portal. It took my hopes for happiness as well. And you can't bring that back with a Philosopher's Stone._

The man slumped in his seat, burying his face in his hands. Shame and helplessness were all that defined him now. His hellfire engulfed him as he sat there in the bright and sunny kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

An indiscernible amount of time passed as he sat there, burning in his shame. Eventually his back protested strongly enough to pull him out of his uncomfortable and pitiful position. Roy uneasily stood, allowing his bare hand to drag along the uneven table. A splinter from a rough section stabbed into his palm, wedging itself deep in his skin. Mustang numbly analyzed his new wound. The pain was an annoyance. The pain was distracting.

The pain was a _blessing_.

Once he realized this, he snapped out of his trance. Although he had heard of miserable souls manipulating their pain to their advantage, he had never understood the desire for it until now.

_I'm physically weak enough without adding that on top of it._

And it was true. Feet dragging, he trudged up the stairs, intent on removing the blessed distraction. Halfway up the flight he had to rest, grasping the rail to encourage him to remain in a standing position.

His thoughts flew straight back to Edward and Winry. _This is for the best. I can't do him any good in my condition. I'm so weak and pathetic. _A shaking hand rose to cover his face. _Winry is a much better, stronger fit for him than I could ever be._

A newly-revived despise for his sickness overcame him, urging him up the stairs. Once he reached the top he lowered to his knees, clutching his chest and sucking in air. The triumph and fatigue of finishing the entire flight calmed his disgust. But the flare of hatred was still there, just muted. It lay churning under the surface, its presence known but not controlling him like it did just moments before. It didn't feel right. What else did he hate?

Still on his knees, Roy's fingers clenched into fists. _Winry._

The single word filled him with intense malice, like a continuous wave that threatened to drown him.

_What a monster._

His self-loathing intensified, battling with his newly directed rage. Sweating profusely, he struggled to his feet. The whirl of emotions confounded him, and out of animal-like desperation he struck the wall with a clenched fist.

Suddenly his chest constricted. With a pained cry Roy collapsed, clutching at his heart. He fought to breathe steadily, thinking back to the last time this had occurred. Riza had him transported to a hospital immediately. This episode was by far a lot worse, and this realization brought on a bout of panic. Sweat and saliva ran everywhere as his eyes rolled back in his head from the agony.

_I'm going to die._

He was dimly aware of the cold wood floor pressed against his skin. All sensation, including pain, gradually became farther and farther away. The pain wasn't subsiding; his consciousness was slipping.

Mustang couldn't tell if he minded dying. Now unable to comprehend, he was instead vaguely aware of undefined emotions and flashes of hazy images passing through his last shred of consciousness. It seemed peaceful.

An image of Edward in Winry's arms brought tortured tears to his eyes.

_Just let it be. Let them be. _

Closing his eyes, he willed for death to come claim him. But the acute misery invoked by the image had snapped him into coherency, accomplishing nothing but bringing the unbearable suffering in his heart back into sharp focus.

A moan escaped his lips, the crushing in his chest unrelenting in its attack. More images of Edward and Winry together flooded his mind, one after the other. Emotional and physical agony collided, mixing so well that distinguishing between the two was impossible. The moan grew louder, eventually evolving into a wounded scream. He bit into the flesh of his hand, begging incoherently for the pain to stop.

Excruciating moments ticked by with Mustang writhing on the floor. Finally the pain faded to an aching throb. Slicked in sweat, he shakily lifted himself into a crawling position. Without warning he vomited, retching loudly. The hand that he had bitten reached up to grasp something, but it just clumsily smeared blood along the wall. He looked up through blurry vision. His room was only a few feet away. Again he tried to crawl forward, this time successfully.

Eternity passed as he made his way to his room. Reaching the bed, he clutched the table next to it and miraculously heaved himself to his feet long enough to fall onto the bed. The pain had almost completely subsided. He was all but unconscious before he heard the front door click open and slam shut.

"Mustang! I'm back!" Edward called, searching around the living room for signs of him.

Roy floated on the bed, dazed. The ability to think had left him once again. Even if he had wanted to, he was incapable of making a sound. He remained on the bed, spread-eagled on his front with his face turned to the side so he could breathe.

Edwards footsteps, one a little louder than the other, continued their journey through the house. He noticed the coffee cup still on the table from that morning.

"Mustang?"

His pace quickened. Backtracking through the kitchen and living room, he shot hurried glances out the windows. The thud of his uneven footsteps grew louder as they climbed the stairs. Then there was a brief silence. Panicked breathing followed the silence as he bolted to Roy's room.

The last thing he heard before he passed out was Edward's shriek.

"Roy!"

And he slipped gratefully into the darkness.

**** This chapter was the most difficult for me to write so far. Please let me know what you think of it! I'd love some feedback on it (good or bad).


	6. Chapter 6

Mustang opened his eyes to find amber ones fixed upon him. Returning the gaze, he was unable to decipher the expression on the younger man's face, and he was much too disoriented to wonder what Ed was thinking. Foggily he reached out, wanting nothing more than to finally touch the one person he had never dared to touch; the only person he ever wanted to touch again. In absolute silence Edward allowed him to brush his fingertips across his face, tracing along his jaw-line. They stared at each other as Mustang proceeded to rub strands of yellow hair between his fingers. Mesmerized, Roy permitted his fingers to graze Edward's neck. The tender skin beckoned him. Lower and lower he went, pausing only to unbutton the obstructive shirt. Mustang stopped, drinking in the sight of his beautifully exposed body.

With emphasized intent Edward slipped out of his shirt, leaving it in a heap on the floor. The look in Ed's eyes told him everything. The breath caught in Roy's throat. After a moment's hesitation, excitement took over. He grabbed him, pressing their bodies together. Roy took Ed's lips with his, reveling in his rising ecstasy. His hands ran all along his lover's body, gently touching and squeezing any bare skin he could find. Without needing to be asked Edward parted his lips, almost begging for Mustang to take him. Hands fluttered at Roy's groin as they kissed, working to remove his pants. Instinctively his hips bucked forward into Edward's, causing both men to moan lustfully.

Nothing could urge him on more effectively than the sound of Edward's pleasured moans. His hands snaked around to Ed's butt, pulling him closer and rubbing their hips together even harder. Ed's cheeks flushed pink. Mustang grinned widely, leaning down to nibble on his neck. As he worked to form a purple mark on the side of Edward's neck, Ed stealthily slipped his hand into Roy's pants. The shock of pleasure caused him to gasp, biting down a little into Ed's skin. This made Edward moan louder, wordlessly informing Mustang that he liked the rough treatment.

Suddenly everything seemed to disintegrate. Then Edward was gone, and all he could see were the insides of his eyelids. At first Roy was stunned, then nearly cried from the bitter disappointment as the last shreds of his fantasy faded away. His mind seemed to enjoy torturing him in the most masochistic ways.

Eyes still closed, the previous violent events came back to him. His attention was drawn to his chest. The pain was gone, but warm pressure had taken its place. Groggy, he opened his eyes to assess where the pressure was coming from. The shock nearly made his heart stop again.

_Edward?_

Under the blankets asleep on his chest was none other than the Fullmetal Alchemist. Head rested on his shoulder with an arm draped across his midsection, Edward didn't stir. Mustang's leg twitched and he realized that the man had entwined their legs together, making movement impossible. Not that Roy wanted to move. He remained quite still, gradually registering exactly what predicament he had awoken to.

_He's… He's in bed with me. SLEEPING on me!_

Edward's warmth seeped into him, and he felt his own temperature rise. He shifted slightly in his sleep causing Roy to become all-to-aware of Ed's toned muscles. This only caused Roy to get hotter, adrenaline and lust pumping through his veins. Sweat broke out on his forehead and he could feel himself harden.

The memory of Ed smiling when he had revealed his upcoming marriage flashed into Mustang's mind. With a bitter taste in his mouth, Mustang resolved himself to face reality.

"Ed?" he whispered. He had been too quiet. The man remained asleep on his chest.

He swallowed, his determination fleeting. "Edward," he said hoarsely, a little louder this time.

This time he had been heard. Edward stirred, raising his head slowly from his chest. Then he bolted straight up and twisted to peer into Mustang's face. He didn't appear embarrassed, just relieved. "You're awake!"

Dumbfounded, he slowly asked, "Why were you… sleeping…?"

"You passed out. I had no idea what was going on. I tried to take care of you the best I could, but I'm no doctor. At one point you were shivering so violently. No matter what I did you couldn't get warm. So I had no choice but to try to share my body heat. And I guess I fell asleep." His eyes cast down in shame. "I'm sorry. You were suffering so much and I fell asleep…"

Mustang's mouth was dry. Swallowing, he looked at him. "You took care of me?"

His head shot up, angry. A hand flew up and grabbed the front of Roy's shirt. "Well of course I did! I come home to find blood and vomit all down the hall and you unconscious! I thought you were going to die! We have no doctors around here and I… I…" His hand shook, clamped tightly on the fabric.

"I'm sorry." A long silence followed the apology that hung in the air.

The older man gently touched Ed's hand then wrapped his fingers around Ed's wrist. "I think it's time for me to leave."

Stunned, Edward's mouth hung open. "Leave? What the hell are you talking about?"

"You don't need this—me—in your life. Especially not now." Ed only gaped at him. Mustang pulled gently but forcefully on his wrist, releasing his grasp. "You have a new house. You're about to get married, start a family. It was presumptuous of me to think I could interrupt-"

"Bullshit! You're running away!" The words were like a slap across his face, stinging him. "Now stop being stupid, and tell me what's going on!"

Mustang glowered at him then looked away. "It's none of your concern, Fullmetal." His hands gripped the sheets, struggling to acquire the cool mask that used to be such a huge part of him. Somehow he couldn't quite get the mask to sit in place like it used to.

Never had Roy endured such a large and painful silence.

"I _see_." The weight of the sentence was surprisingly heavy for only two words. With that Edward got up and strode through the doorway, slamming it behind him. Mustang winced at the sound, listening to him stomp angrily down the stairs and out of the house.

Defeated, he simply stared out the window wondering when the next train out of Resembool would arrive.


	7. Chapter 7

Wasting no time, Mustang dragged himself off the bed. His knees nearly buckled under his weight, but he grit his teeth in determination and managed to enter the hallway. He carefully watched his feet to avoid falling. In his peripheral vision he noticed that his clothes were not the same as what he last remembered wearing. They weren't his, and they showed no trace of the attack that had seized him previously.

_Ed…_

The fact that Edward had cared enough for him to change his sodden clothing and then sleep by his side made Roy even more resolute to leave him behind. The thought of causing Ed any more trouble or pain was too much to bear. Returning his concentration to his feet, he made his way down the wooden steps. Finally reaching his shoes he became conscious of the fact that his suitcase remained upstairs, solitary in the abandoned bedroom.

_Leave it. _No object or belonging was valuable enough to subjugate him to the humiliation of struggling up the stairs once more.

He turned the knob and pushed the door open. The sun was setting, and Edward was nowhere to be found. Frustrated, he realized that going to the train station right now was completely out of the question. Not only was the sky growing darker, but he had spent most of his energy just to reach the front door. However the idea of staying another moment in Ed's home was nauseating. Many years had passed since the last time he invited himself into Pinako's home, but it was now his only option.

As he gingerly picked his way down the slope and onto the road in the dwindling sunlight, his mind wandered back to before he lost consciousness. The memories were muddled, but his brain latched onto a particular moment. He had nearly died, and then something had happened. His brow furrowed. A certain thing had happened that he couldn't name. He continued walking, analyzing this fleeting knowledge.

_What was it? Something pulled me back._

Mustang continued on, his thoughts far from where his feet currently travelled. In shock, he came to a halt. He knew what it was.

_The pain. The pain of knowing he would be left with _her._ I felt so… so…_

_Angry._

He leaned against a tree, covering his face with his hands. A new wave of disgust washed over him, and he did nothing to stop it. It was anger. It was anger that had revived him, anger that had pulled his soul back from the brink of death.

_What kind of monster continues to live out of fury? Out of bitterness? _

Roy crouched, unable to stand anymore. Bracing himself on the tree, he lowered himself completely to the packed ground. It no longer mattered if he had a place to stay. Dying in the cold darkness under a withered tree seemed just as fitting an end as anything else. The wind began to blow, molesting the leaves and somewhat drowning out the hateful thoughts in his ears. The dreariness was almost peaceful. Mustang closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree, allowing himself to be swallowed in the approaching storm.

At first it drizzled, splashing small droplets onto his upturned face. Then with no further ado the clouds opened and it poured. There Roy sat, unflinching. The thunder and wind, although not overpowering, were like music to him. He nearly forgot what had made him so hopeless. He nearly forgot he was even alive. It felt beautiful to him to just sit in the rain and _be_. The thought was funny to him. Rain had always been his enemy until this moment, washing away at the impurities of his soul.

Approaching rhythmic vibrations coursing through the ground did nothing to startle him. Neither did a man's voice nor the sensation of being lifted off the ground faze him. He simply existed, refusing to be pulled out of his reverie.

Eventually his mind wandered back to reality, registering the fact that he was again where he had started: Edward's house. Bolting upright, he fell backwards off of someone's back and landed hard on the ground. The rain had waned, only misting now. The person flipped around, gasping for air and ready to confront the man he had carried back to his home.

"Are you… STUPID?!" Edward exclaimed, breathing heavily.

Mustang simply sat there staring at him then looked elsewhere to avoid his gaze. Suddenly Edward's fist connected to his face, knocking Roy sideways into the mud. Stunned, he lay there as Ed stood over him angrily.

"What the hell were you thinking?! Only an idiot would act like you have!" Edward glared down at him and then turned his back. Calmly, he said, "Let's go inside."

Roy watched Edward enter the house and after a few moments he decided to follow. Just as he entered the living room Ed threw a towel his way, already in the process of drying off his yellow hair. The towel hit him square in the chest, which was fortunate because he didn't think he was capable of the coordination.

Looking down at the towel, he asked, "How did you find me?"

Edward gave him an annoyed look. "You were sitting half-alive in the middle of the damn road. I was on my way back from my mother's grave when I saw you." He paused. "What were you thinking?"

Mustang remained silent, refusing to answer. He simply stood there, dripping onto the floor and staring at the towel in his hands.

"Mustang!"

"I'm sick." His voice betrayed no emotion whatsoever. The closest place to sit was on the stairs, so that is where he went. Lowering himself onto the step, he couldn't help but wonder what Ed was thinking; if Ed was disgusted with him, hated him. Eyes glued to the towel, he reached up to gingerly touch his cheek and winced at the pain.

_How could he not hate me after all I've done?_ _This shame… He can see it._ _He can see everything._

The towel he had been using as his escape from Edward's eyes disappeared from his hands. Edward kneeled before him, raising the towel to rub at the exposed skin of Roy's neck and face. He then placed the towel atop his head, rubbing his hair dry and mercifully covering the older man's face.

"Tell me," Edward urged gently.

With his face concealed, Roy finally conceded to say it. "I've… developed a heart condition." The words tasted like acid in his mouth and he grimaced. "I had a heart attack a few weeks ago in the office. The doctor was unable to tell me why my heart is so…" he choked on the word. "Weak." Edward stopped working the towel over his hair, letting it drape to still cover his shame as he spoke. Mustang cleared his throat. "But it looks like you won't have to pay me back the 520 cens that you borrowed after all. I was forced into an early retirement." His voice broke as the tears escaped his eyes, head still bowed.

Edward placed his arms around his head, pulling him into his chest. Roy let out a sob, wrapping his arms around his waist and returning the embrace. There on the steps they stayed, Edward kneeling before Mustang's hunched body with their arms around each other until Roy quieted.

Ed pulled away and tenderly removed the towel from his head. His dark eyes fluttered over Edward's lips and rested on the golden eyes inches from his.

"It's ok. You don't have to be ashamed or embarrassed. There is nothing wrong with you." Edward stated. "You're still strong. You just have to allow yourself to believe that." He placed a hand on Roy's chest, over his ailing heart. "This may slow you down, but you're still one of the strongest people I know."

Mustang could not believe what he was hearing. Not only did Edward not hate him, he still respected him. He still respected and cared for the sick wretch of a man before him.

"Edward… Thank you."


	8. Chapter 8

The heat from Edward's hand bled through Mustang's soaked shirt, tantalizingly licking at his flesh. He noticed that Ed hadn't removed his hand, and he again felt his personal flames of hell growing in intensity at his back. Remembering Winry once more Mustang fought back against the desire, the heat of it resembling a warning. His hand reached up to remove Ed's, but once his hand touched the other man's he couldn't bring himself to let it go of it. A shiver ran up his spine.

Leaning down, the man began to remove Roy's shoes and socks. "We need to get you out of these clothes. The last thing you need is to catch pneumonia or something. I definitely wouldn't be able to do much about that."

The comment caught his attention. He looked down at the top of Edward's head. "You keep mentioning things about there not being a doctor nearby. But what about Pinako?"

Edward froze. Keeping his head bowed, he replied slowly. "Granny… She…" Sadly, he raised his head to look him in the eye. "She died. She said she was sick for a long time, but didn't want to go to a hospital because she would have had to sell the house to afford it."

"I'm sorry."

"It was her choice." Continuing on to remove Roy's socks, Edward made a confession. "But that's the real reason why Winry's gone. She wouldn't say it, but I know it is. She can't handle the fact that her entire family is gone now."

The young man rose to his feet and began placing wood in his fireplace. His untied hair hung, the damp locks only partially concealing his face. "I've been trying to give her as much time and space as she needs. What I don't understand is why she won't come home for _me_. I really thought that I was her family, too. And here I am uselessly waiting for her to come back."

Just as he was about to flick the lighter open, Roy held out his hand. "Let me."

Edward halfheartedly smirked. "You just can't handle a fire anywhere near you unless you're in control of it, huh?"

Mustang replied with a small smile. He couldn't deny that he still enjoyed flame alchemy. And it's not like he has many occasions calling for him to use it anymore. "Even a decrepit old fool like me can try to do something useful. And I'm sorry about… her."

"You're not decrepit. Or old." He ignored the last comment and tossed him the lighter.

Roy readied his hand, but he noticed that his vision had a slight haze and he felt abnormally chilled. The lighter bounced off the back of his hand and onto the floor. Noticing the clumsiness, Edward strode over to him. Mustang managed to grab the lighter and was ready to flick it open when Ed's hand clapped over Roy's and his other hand pressed to the darker man's forehead.

"I don't think that's a good idea. You've got a fever."

Without waiting for protest, Ed pulled the lighter out of his hand and quickly lit the fire. Within moments he returned. Frowning in concern, he tugged at Roy's wet coat. It clung to him, but with some work he managed to remove it. With Mustang's coat draped over one arm, he hoisted the sick man off the stairs with the other and moved him over to a chair. Edward slid out of his own jacket and set them out to dry next to the hearth. He grabbed a blanket and unfolded it across Roy's lap.

With his fever becoming more and more apparent he was grateful of the fire, the blanket, and especially Edward's touch. Edward leaned forward, undoing the buttons of Roy's shirt. At first Mustang merely sat there, a little dazed from his fever and their proximity. But the brushing of Ed's knuckles along his torso as he moved farther and farther down aroused him. His chest became more and more exposed to the warmth of the fire, and he looked into Ed's face.

Mustang didn't know if it was his fever playing tricks with his eyes, or if he saw what he thought he suspected. Edward's face was void of emotion, but his eyes… They shone with lust. Roy knew that look, even if he had only seen it on a woman's face. It was the expression of utter confusion of right and wrong tangling with desire, all covered in a haphazard mask.

All he could think about was tasting and touching the man that had been at the forefront of his mind for so long. The younger man fumbled with the last button on Roy's shirt, which was inches from his groin. Edward never looked him in the face, but managed to undo the final button and opened the shirt that was drenched in rainwater, mud, and sweat. Gently, he slid his fingers across Mustang's collarbone, slowly removing the soiled garment.

Edward finally looked him in the eye, and Mustang knew. "I'm sorry I punched y-"

With that one look Mustang snapped. Grabbing him by the arms, he crushed Edward to his chest and passionately kissed him. Edward's eyes grew wide with shock, his hands flying up between the two of them. At first Roy thought that he was going to push him away. Tangling his fingers into his yellow hair, Mustang refused to let him go. But it seemed that Edward's hands didn't know whether they wanted to create distance between their bodies or eliminate it. He shoved at his chest and clung to him at the same time.

Eventually Edward stopped struggling and knelt there between Roy's knees, motionless. Worried, Roy finally released him.

_Oh no. What have I done?!_

"Ed… I…" Standing up, he uneasily turned away from him and took a few steps in retreat.

A low growl rumbled from deep within Edward's throat. Jerkily grabbing Mustang by the arm, he spun him around and clapped his lips down onto Mustang's. Taken aback, his mouth opened in shock. Edward forced his tongue into his lover's mouth and slammed him into a wall, pinning him there.

Out of impulse Roy's hips bucked forward, pressing himself into the other's groin. A shot of pleasure fizzled through him. It excited him to feel that Edward was as hard as he was. His fingers reached down to glide teasingly over Edward's clothed member, but Ed roughly clasped both hands around his wrists and fixed them to the wall. Roy was trapped, and he had no problem with it.

Kisses trickled down Mustang's neck and chest, mixing deliciously with coarse bites at his skin. A moan escaped his lips, his groin throbbing with anticipation. His heart squeezed uncomfortably, but he ignored it. Edward released his wrists and removed his own shirt. His scars were so beautiful, a perfect mixture of masculinity and sacrifice.

Mustang took this moment of opportunity. Sidestepping, he shoved Ed face first into the wall and pressed his body forcefully against him, trapping him there. Kissing and nibbling at his shoulder, he violently ground his member into Edward's still-clothed butt. Tangling his fingers into his hair, Roy pulled back hard. Ed let out an eager moan. He continued licking the salty sheen of sweat from Edward's muscles. Reaching around, his fingers teased over Edward's fly and gripped the zipper.

His heart clenched again, painfully this time. Ed seductively pushed his hips back, pressing even tighter against him. An even stronger bolt of pain stabbed through his chest, causing him to cry out in pain. Roy freed him and stepped away, clutching his chest.

Edward turned around in alarm. "What's wrong?!"

"It's not . . . an attack . . ." Mustang managed to say between gasps. "I just . . . over-exerted myself. I'll be ok."

With Ed's help Roy moved over and lay down on the couch. The younger man sat at his side, stroking his hair as Roy pressed his hand to his torso. Although he was in discomfort, he could see that Ed was somewhat distracted. Soon his breathing calmed and the pain subsided. Just as Mustang was drifting off to sleep he vaguely registered the guilty sadness behind Edward's eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning Mustang awoke immediately concerned. Edward had been staring at him as he slept; the expression on his face was identical to the one Roy saw as he drifted to sleep. Guilt distorted his features, and he did nothing to hide it.

Roy sat up, ready to proceed with the conversation that he dreaded. Ed was going to tell him that last night was a mistake, that it should have never happened, and it will never happen again. The unspoken words were already forming cracks in his heart, spreading like a web and ready to shatter.

"Look."

"No, let me say something Roy." The use of his first name caught him off guard. He allowed his eyes to meet Edward's. "I've had a lot of time to think about this." Edward paused, collecting his thoughts. "Yesterday. . . what happened. . . it was a mistake. I think we both know that."

All he could do was nod, still looking him dead in the eyes. _I won't look away from him. I'll face what I've done. _Remaining silent, he clenched his fists against the approaching rejection and waited for Ed to speak.

"It should never have happened."

A muscle twitched in Roy's jaw, which was locked into place.

"And well, I uh . . . I have to admit I'm a little confused." Scratching the back of his head, Ed laughed meekly.

Mustang's face went blank, his mouth forming a big O. "C-_Confused_?" Memories of the previous day flashed through his mind. It seemed pretty straight-forward to him. Trying to put some emotional distance between them, he decided to use his old military title. "What do you mean, Fullmetal?"

Edward's face changed again, this time to something Mustang was completely incapable of translating. Muttering something, Ed looked down at his hands in what appeared to be embarrassment.

Clearing his throat, he pushed past his attraction of Ed's state of vulnerability and tried again. "Fullmetal, you need to speak up."

"I said you have no idea what it does to me when you call me that!"

Again, Roy was surprised. "Do you not like it?" _That's the point._

"No, I . . . It's hot." Edward blurted.

Now it was Mustang's turn to scratch his head in confusion. _Wait a minute. . ._ Edward blushed profusely, obviously exhilarated by what he had accidentally revealed.

"Are you saying that. . . that you return my feelings?" Mustang asked. A flutter of hope shivered through his chest.

"I mean, I love Winry. I'm just so confused right now." Shamed, the blonde looked away from him.

Discomfort at the mention of Winry combined with elation inside him. "Ed, it's ok."

"Is it? I feel dirty right now. I've done wrong to both you _and_ her."

"You're not doing anything wrong to me. And believe me, I'm the one that feels dirty."

Edward raised his eyes to peer at him. "What do you mean?"

"Ed, I . . ." He took a breath. "Never mind."

"Please tell me."

Mustang closed his eyes. He knew what he needed to say. What he should say. "You need to marry Winry. And be loyal to her. There's really nothing to be confused about, Ed. You're right. Last night was a mistake, and it should have never happened. You've just been lonely."

Roy was purposely building a wall between them, brick by brick. And Winry was the mortar. He could see Edward's face, but once again was unable to decipher the expression.

"No, you're right." Edward looked up, grinning. "It really was just dumb. I'm glad we got on the same page! Now, I'm gonna go to work. Are you ok to stay here on your own? Are you feeling ok now?"

Quietly, defeated, Mustang replied. "Yeah. I'm just fine."

Roy heard inaudible chatter as Ed moved about the house, picking up this and that to take with him to work. He simply couldn't listen to Edward's pretentious babble anymore. It was painful to hear Ed trying to cover up his shame. The door clicked shut, and Mustang was left alone once more.

The thought crossed his mind to go ahead and catch a train, but he knew that would be more of an encumbrance upon Edward than if he stayed. Mustang lied back, staring up at the ceiling. He could still feel the muscles of Ed's body pressed against him, listening to the husky moans in his ears. And his lips had fit against Roy's so perfectly.

_At least I got that one moment with him. _Mustang shut his eyes. _Yeah, that's all I need. _


	10. Chapter 10

Mustang heard the final click on the other end of the line, and his heart sank. Mechanically his hand lifted the receiver and replaced it, bracing himself against the wall. A heavy sigh escaped his lips. _It had to be done._ Dull pain spread along his skull, causing him to unconsciously pass a hand across his eyes as he accepted this new reality. Really, it had always been the reality. He had just sped up the results.

He was as sickly as ever, but he didn't mind it so much anymore. The reality of his life was terrible, but there was a masochistic comfort in knowing that the hand had been dealt, the cards had been played, and he had officially lost. His career, his health, even Edward were all gambled away, and now all he could do was accept defeat. It was nothing unbearable; he only got what he knew he deserved.

Swallowing a lump that threatened to block his windpipe, he thought back to what he had done. Winry's voice had sounded so unsuspecting when she had answered the phone. After a few awkward pleasantries, Roy told her exactly what he never wanted to say:

"_Winry, Ed needs you. You need to come home to him."_

"_But-"_

"_Now."_

_A long silence followed his order, followed by a small "OK."_

That weak acceptance to his command sickened him. The fact that he had to tell her to come home sickened him. _Edward deserves more than what she can give. _His hand curled into a fist. _And yet she can give him more than I ever could._ _And he wants _her_._

Mustang pulled himself out of his defeat and succeeded in stepping into a more militaristic mindset. He had to plan what he was going to do next. Shuffling over to the armchair, he sat down and laced his fingers together in a contemplative position.

The idea of hopping on the next train to nowhere entered his mind once again. He shook his head, nudging the thought to the side. _As tempting as that might be I can't just disappear again. Ed would be pissed. No, I have to make this as clean for him as possible. _

_I have to decide first if I'm going to tell him that Winry is coming home. If I tell him, I'd have to tell him why. It might not look good for her if he knew that she came back because I told her to do so. But if I don't inform him of her return then he might give up on her. _His heart leapt. He clenched his intertwined fingers. _That's not an option either. _

_It looks like I'll have to lie. _He smirked darkly. If there was one thing he was good at, he was good at pulling a hood over people's eyes. An image of Edward flashed to the forefront of his mind and he faltered. He didn't know if he could manage to fool him. _I'm going to have to. It's for his own good. _

He closed his eyes, utterly drained. _Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll tell him Winry's coming home soon, but I won't tell him why._

Quickly he drifted into a half-slumber, dreams swirling with his thoughts to create images he detested. Scenarios played out in his head, all of which left him feeling empty and lost. Edward and Winry in bed together. Edward and Winry raising children together. Edward and Winry growing old together. And in every scene he was made brutally aware of how alone he was. The solitude crushed him. At times he wished he was dead, cursing his heart and cursing God for the despair they caused him.

Emotions crashed inside of him like waves, and he finally jerked himself fully awake. The sun had lowered to an angle that shone through the window and into his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to leave the house, to at least get outside.

Remembering the chilly weather, he grabbed a blanket. After reaching the front door he had to stop to catch his breath. Once he thought he could make it, he proceeded to a tree near to the house. He peered up at it, noting the near-nakedness of the branches and the ashen color of the wood. With a smile he sat beneath it, leaning against the trunk with the blanket wrapped about him.

_This tree and I seem to have a lot in common. Beaten by nature to the point of death, and yet we both still manage to stand. But… Does that mean that I'll spring back to life like this tree? Or will I even be here when it blooms again?_ _Hughes…_

Shame welled up inside of him as the sun beat down on his face. He couldn't tell if the burning in his eyes was from the wind or the guilt he felt. Not once since Roy came to Ed's home had he thought about his old friend.

_Does he really not matter to me as much anymore? Am I really so low as to allow my own dissatisfaction in life to distract me?_ _I thought that Envy's death would have helped me accept his absence. But since he committed suicide I never got the closure I needed. I never got to kill him myself. Riza saw to that. _His head hung, tears flooding his eyes. _I guess I chose her over you. What else could I have done? She was alive and you were already dead._

_But how had Edward distracted me so much? My selfish feelings made me forget. Hughes, I'm so sorry. I haven't even bothered to take care of your wife and child. I just couldn't bear to look at them. _

He shook himself out of his reverie. _The mind really goes to a lot of different places, doesn't it?_ A chuckle escaped him. _Hughes, I'm sorry. _Edward's form appeared on the road, walking with one hand slid casually into a pocket and his other hand carrying some rolled papers.

At the sight of Ed something alighted inside him that made his sadness dim slightly. Already his troubled thoughts of Maes were a little less overwhelming. _Hell, I really am damned._

As Ed approached, Mustang couldn't get his face to portray the friendly happiness he had planned. And his voice betrayed his growing somberness. He looked up above him at the tree once more, and his previous train of thought returned to him. _Will I be able to come back to life again?_ The closer Ed got, the more certain Roy was that he wouldn't survive the season.

Roy met his eyes steadily, determined to see this through to his end.

"Winry's coming home to you."

The rolls of paper in Edward's arm slipped, striking the cold ground and unraveling.


	11. Chapter 11

The two men simply stared at each other, both attempting and utterly failing at hiding the emotions that played across their faces. Roy could feel the fear, anger, jealousy, acceptance, bitterness, and many other feelings twitch the muscles in his face as he forced himself to look Edward steadily in the eye. Edward's feelings were completely indiscernible. They were muted by his confusion at what he had been told. Mustang thought he saw pity flash into the younger man's eyes, which enraged him.

_How dare he think of me at a time like this?! I'm doing this for _him_!_

But instead of saying those things, he just gave a small smile. "Ed. Congratulations. She still loves you."

Roy moved to rise to his feet, but he quickly realized that he wasn't strong enough to do so. Just as Edward was stepping forward to assist him Roy turned his back to him, gripping the dying tree for the support he needed. Ed mutely stood there, his papers scattered to the wind and only a few in sight. Paying no heed to this, his eyes never left Mustang's hunched back.

Calmly, quietly, Edward asked, "How do you know she's coming home?"

With the fingers of his left hand wrapped around a low-hanging branch, the sickly man began to deliver the most difficult lie of his life. "She called. While you were away."

"I see. And what did she say?"

Mustang clenched the branch. His white knuckles would have given away his inner struggle if his skin wasn't such a wan color to begin with. Refusing to look at him, he kept his back facing him. "She said… that she was sorry that it took her so long for her to come back. She said she did a lot of thinking, and that she finally realized that you are the most important thing to her. You are all the family that she has left. She just needs to wrap things up at the shop and she'll be home within two weeks. Probably sooner. She wanted me to tell you that she loves you and to wait for her a little while longer."

A long silence followed his statement. A chilly breeze blew through, rippling the countless blades of browning grass. The whisper of the sparse nature was not enough to fill the emptiness of the pause. Roy peered over his shoulder, wondering what it could be that Ed was thinking. He felt that it was a believable story. Ed's face was set in a grim expression, his eyes fixed on the far-off countryside. The fact that those golden eyes weren't boring into his back gave him enough courage to turn around.

"Ed…"

"I can't believe this is happening." A single tear streaked down his cheek.

Mustang's expression softened, and he sighed quietly. "It's all going to be-"

Still distracted, Edward cut him off. "You should get inside. The cold out here isn't good for someone of your condition."

The tactlessness of what he had said stung. "Right." He turned towards the house and shuffled to the door. Ed strode down the hill, most likely chasing the meandering pages of his work.

By the time he got inside and up to his bedroom he was completely exhausted. Mustang sat on the edge of his bed, breathing heavily. Sweat had broken out on his forehead. He didn't know if it was from trudging up the stairs or his surrender to any claim on his ex-subordinate. Both were a challenge, but he had been capable of completing both tasks.

_Hmph. I might be in poor condition, but I can still hold my own. I can get through this. _A set of fingers took hold of his shirt, just over his heart. _This is the way things are meant to be. _

After allowing himself a few moments to catch his breath he stood, grabbed a fresh towel, and headed to the bathroom across the hall. Once again remembering his abysmal encounter with the train station's mirror, he avoided his reflection in the glass above the sink. He pushed back the curtain and twisted the water faucets. Water quietly hissed from the showerhead into the bathtub as he sat down on the toilet to remove his garments.

The tiny room soon filled with steam before he could finish unclothing. He cleared his mind, wanting nothing more than to enjoy a nice shower and then possibly retire early for the night. Yes, he just wanted to dodge Edward and live in his own little existence for a few hours. Roy lifted his foot to step over the edge of the tub and into the shower. Forgetting to hold onto something for balance Mustang's foot caught the rim, and he fell hard onto the wet porcelain surface.

The hot water continued to pour down, uncaring of the lump on his forehead or the ache in his right ankle. Roy grappled for something solid to help him pull himself up. There was nothing within reach except the edge of the bathtub. His fingers kept sliding across the rim, and he was too weak to stand up on his own. He looked down at his ankle. It had already begun to swell, an angry bruise slowly rising into view. An intense headache was beginning to spread and overtake the area above his eyes.

_Damn. What am I going to do?_ He could call for Ed. But there were many problems with that idea. Roy wasn't sure if Edward was even in the house yet. There was no telling how far he had to search to retrieve his rolls of documents. Plus, Roy didn't want to see Ed right now. He needed time away from the person he had lied to. _Not to mention…_ He thought, blushing. _I don't want him to see me like _this_. _His eyes flickered across his flesh, fully aware of his own nakedness. Nothing would be more mortifying than his host finding him in this situation. He had to find a way out of this on his own.

Over and over again he struggled to pull himself to his feet. However his ankle kept giving way whenever he tried to put any weight on it, and the headache was slowing his ability to think. And the bathtub was simply too deep and too slick to hoist himself over the side. His efforts rapidly zapped any strength that he had, and he eventually just sunk into his pain in defeat. Between his weakness and his injuries he knew there was just no way to pull himself up. Ed's flat voice from earlier rang in his ears. _"… someone of your condition"_. Mustang grimaced. It was true. _Someone of my condition can't even get out of a damned bathtub._ The pain in his head had stretched to encompass most of his skull, which made him completely unaware of a set of uneven footsteps approaching.

Someone knocked on the door and called his name. "Mustang?" More knocks. Roy couldn't get his brain to tell his mouth to speak. "Mustang, is everything ok? You've been in there a while." The door swung open, revealing Edward's worried expression. Roy's head simply tilted in Ed's direction in order to look at him.

Edward saw Mustang's pain-glazed eyes and immediately rushed forward. "Roy!"

Panicked and groggy, Roy only managed a "No!". Ed kept moving towards him.

"No. N-No no no no." Mustang fumbled to cover his groin with his hands, confused embarrassment flustering him. "Please go away. I'm ok."

The blonde saw his panic and flung the towel across Mustang's lap. Reaching down to lift him out of the tub, the still-running water made him gasp.

"It's cold! How long have you been trapped in here?"

For a moment Roy didn't answer. Ed turned off the water and placed his hands under Roy's arms. Lifting him out of the tub, Edward accidentally made the sodden towel slip to the floor.

"I've got it." Extreme humiliation thickened in Mustang's throat.

"No you don't," he said firmly. "Even if your ankle wasn't twice its size, you don't have the strength."

Angry and bitter, Roy pushed him away. Resisting the urge to cover himself, he tried to walk on his own. "I'm fine. I don't need-" His knees buckled and Edward caught him.

They took a few more steps and Mustang lay down on his bed. Grabbing another towel, Ed tossed it across his friend's legs. For a moment he left, returning with more pillows and towels. He stacked the pillows and gently placed the man's injured ankle atop them. Sitting down next to him, he proceeded to use a towel to dry Mustang's face and neck.

"You know, it's ok to need help."

"But I can't take your help."

"Why not?"

Mustang didn't have an appropriate answer. Edward sat there quietly, drying the rest of his body. Closing his eyes, Roy willed for the pain in his head to cease. He felt the absence of the towel when Ed finished, but kept his eyes closed.

After a moment Edward asked, "Is it because you're in love with me?"

Roy completely forgot about his pain, his nakedness, and his weakness. His eyes flew open. "What did you just say?"

"I'm asking you if you feel you can't depend on me because you're in love with me."

He was beyond flustered. Drawing a blank on what to say, he said "I don't know what you're talking about." Mustang tried to sit up but was pushed back down.

Edward's hand on the other man's chest began tracing over his skin, outlining the curvature of Roy's muscles. They weren't as defined as they used to be, but they were still prominent despite his illness.

Roy pushed Edward's hand away and again tried to sit up. "What are you doing?"

Again he was shoved back down on the bed, harder this time. "I want you to stop fighting."

Mustang raised his hands to push back at him, but Edward grabbed them and pinned them down to the bed. "I told you. Stop fighting."

He tried his best to sound firm and convincing. "Fighting what? I don't know what you're talking about."

Then Edward did something Roy had only dreamt of. Intertwining their fingers, he leaned down and softly kissed him.

The breath caught in his throat. Eyes wide, he analyzed Ed's face. _What is he doing?_ Edward stared right back into his eyes, slipping his tongue into Roy's mouth. Ed's tongue sent a jolt down his spine, causing his body to react. Heat flooded his nerves, flushing his cheeks and sending a tingling sensation to his member.

Edward trailed his hand down to the cloth in Mustang's lap. Pulling his face away, he continued staring into his eyes as he slid his fingertips under the single piece of cloth.

"Ed. . . Don't!"

"Tell me you love me."

"Stop it!"

"Stop fighting it. Don't hold back anymore."

Roy could only manage a soft groan, grasping at the last shreds of his dignity and self-control.

"Please. Tell me you love me. Tell me the truth."

The words exploded from him. "I love you." Tears sprang into his eyes and trailed down his cheeks. "I love you more than anything. More than life itself." The weight of his deepest secret and regret lifted from him.

Removing the towel completely, Edward sighed with admiration. His eyes roamed freely, taking in every inch of his body. "Beautiful."

Deliberately slow, he took hold of Roy's stiffened member. He kept his eyes trained on Mustang's face as he began to stroke. Mustang's hips rose up from the bed immediately, unable to restrain himself any longer. After a few short moments he stopped, making Roy whimper pathetically. Removing his shirt, Ed grinned and placed himself between Mustang's legs. With one hand he cupped Roy's genitals and with the other he resumed his strokes. Gasping for air, Roy writhed on the bed as his lover worked his hands.

All too soon he climaxed, moaning loudly. Roy looked down to watch Edward grab the towel to clean him up, and he noticed a wet patch had formed in the front of the younger man's pants.

"Come here," he said coarsely.

Obeying, Edward crawled over him until their faces were inches apart. His fingers snaked into Ed's belt loops as he kissed him hungrily. Suddenly he yanked his hands up towards him, forcing Ed onto his knees with the zipper of his pants directly in front of Mustang's face. Releasing one of his hands from Edward's loops, he brought it around and hurriedly undid the fly. Edward's erection was soon freed from his boxers. Roy hooked his fingers through his belt loops again and took the erection into his mouth.

The gasp that Roy heard ringing through his ears was almost enough to make him come again. Ed gripped the headboard, pressing his pelvis closer to his lover's mouth and choking back groans.

Mustang pulled away and blew cold air on Edward's member. "Don't hold back. I want to hear your voice."

He took it back into his mouth, wrapping his tongue around it and pulsating. He could feel Edward's entire body clenching and releasing as he struggled to stay upright. Every time he bobbed his head along the shaft he was greeted with another beautiful moan. One of Roy's hands reached around and grabbed his butt, gaining yet another cry of pleasure.

"Please! Roy! Give me more!"

Roy Mustang did not need to be told again. Slowly he sank a finger into Edward's butt. After working it in and out a few times he found his prostate, which made Edward nearly scream. The man on top of him arched his back, and after a few more strokes his orgasm rippled through his body.

Exhausted, but not quite sated, Edward pulled away from him. Between heavy breathes he said, "I want you."

"You already have me."

He shook his head. "I want _you_. I want it. Right now."

Roy was completely flabbergasted. Today had not gone the way he had planned whatsoever. "Why are you doing this?"

Edward's yellow eyes burned into his. "Because you lied to me."


	12. Chapter 12

Some of the excitement that had been flooding Roy's thoughts and actions dissipated quickly, the color draining from his face just as fast. Guilty bewilderment flickered in his eyes, but he kept his voice relatively calm. "What do you mean, 'Because I lied to you'?"

Edward didn't move an inch from above him. "I know you, Roy Mustang. I know exactly what's going on."

Immediately he went on the defensive, and he could feel his old military act sliding right back into place. His eyes narrowed slightly. "You're going to need to elaborate better than that, Fullmetal."

The ex-alchemist kept his dominating position hovering over the other man as he spoke, allowing his fingers to run seductively over Roy's body. "I suspected you had feelings for me when you got here. And then what happened the other night told me I was right. But then the next morning you told me to forget about it and focus on Winry, that it was a mistake."

"There's a reason that I told you it was a mistake."

"It wasn't a mistake, Roy. And being with you right now isn't a mistake either."

His heart raced, hope rising in his chest. "Why?"

"Like I said, I know you. I know you well enough to know that you would sabotage yourself for the sake of what you believe to be the 'greater good'."

After a moment Mustang cleared his throat and spoke. "What did I do to sabotage myself?"

"You lied to me, which is so selfless and at the same time really selfish. You thought that the prospect of Winry coming home would keep anything from happening between us, which would make you able to stay here."

"You think I lied so that I could have a place to stay?"

"No, I think you lied because you didn't want to have to leave me. I believed you at first, and I can't say that it didn't upset me. I didn't know what to think or how to feel."

Mustang continued to stare at him.

"But then I pieced it all together." Edward slowly leaned down and embraced him tightly, snaking his arms around and under him. Their naked bodies fully connecting made Roy feel both erotic and comforted. "You don't have to lie to me about Winry coming home. I already know that she isn't. I've already accepted that she's never coming back."

He was speechless, Edward's assumption of the situation gradually sinking in.

"Whatever you might think, you aren't a burden. I don't care if you're sick. So stop trying to fight it all and allow yourself to be happy. With me."

Mustang didn't have the courage to look at him. _He wants to be with me because he thinks Winry isn't coming home to him. _He felt his whole world crumbling apart again, not knowing whether to feel anger or sadness. Somehow he got himself to speak. "Ed. . . You're wrong. Winry _is_ coming back."

For a split second Edward froze, the salty skin of their torsos sticking together. Drawing in a ragged breath, Ed pushed himself up. The cold air assaulted Roy's newly-exposed stomach.

"She's coming back? She's really coming back?" The look in his eyes was completely blank.

All Roy could do was nod, his onyx eyes wavering.

A moment later Edward leapt to his feet and rushed to the bathroom. The sound of his retching echoed across the tiled floor.

Mustang was completely disgusted, the anguish of everything crushing his ability to breathe. He knew that if he loved him he should bear all of the suffering on his own. He knew that if he loved him he should go to him, try to console him, tell him everything would be alright. He knew that if he loved him he would leave and never come back. But knowing he loved him, he did the only thing he could bring himself to do: He went to his bedroom door, and he locked it.

Restless, he had gone to his closet and dressed in as conservative clothing as he could find. Even though he was hot and uncomfortable in his sweater and long pants it at least helped to erase his vulnerability from before.

Several hours had passed with Roy laying on his bed, the curtain drawn and the door mercilessly locked. Eventually Edward had picked himself up off the floor, his shuffling feet traveling down the hall to his own room. The door clicked into place, and after that there was complete silence within the house. The soundless abyss of his thoughts was nearly enough to drive him mad, and several times he had to fight down the urge to go into Edward's room and break his nose.

Hell, he had to fight down some urges to break his own nose. Mustang didn't know who to point his vehemence towards, himself or Ed.

_I was right in thinking that he needed her more than me. That he wanted her more than me. _His bitter thoughts stabbed incessantly. _I knew I couldn't compete with that, and yet I allowed that to happen. I'm so idiotic for letting things go that far! It's my fault._

_But he threw himself at me! How was I supposed to know what he was thinking? He toyed with me, settling for what he thought to be second-best._

_But you _are _second-best. _

The notion was nothing new, but it still hurt to realize it. It hurt even more because he thought, for just a moment, that he had a chance for happiness. But the emptiness of Ed's eyes when he looked at him was enough to let Mustang know how impossible it was for him to ever have a life with Edward Elric. And the last rays of hope that were not long ago alighted by Edward's touch dissolved into nothing.

Author's Note: Thank you so much for your reviews! I know I don't message a lot of the people that leave them, but I do appreciate every single one! As anyone that publishes on this site knows, reviews are a lot of the reason why I keep writing this story. I'm sorry that my updates have gotten less frequent, but I got a bit of writer's block with it. But now I know where I'm taking it again so I should be adding chapters more quickly again. Trust me, next chapter is going to be huge! And to everyone that has read up to this point, thank you so much for sticking it out and make sure to leave me reviews! I'd love to know what your thoughts are as you read what's happening. Thanks so much everybody!


	13. Chapter 13

For the first time in a long time Roy truthfully had no idea what he was going to do. Despite what had happened, despite how Ed felt, he couldn't bring himself to leave. Although he knew that he should go, every time he looked at his suitcase bile rose into his throat. His indecision left him with no choice but to avoid the young man down the hall. Mustang only left his room after he heard the front door click quietly into place in the morning, and he made sure to be settled back out of sight before Ed returned from work.

This carried on for three days.

However, avoiding Edward was only one reason why he rarely left his room. The combination of his heartbreak and his lack of exercise and sunlight took a great toll on his health. Mustang had always been pale, but now he was a sickly grey. Dark bags under his eyes seemingly grew by the hour, and his breath was usually more of a wheeze than an easy inhale.

He hadn't bothered to shower, either. Afraid of another incident, he dodged bathing altogether, settling instead to just use a small cloth and a sink. But he was aware that he needed to face Edward eventually, and he couldn't do that looking like he did now.

On the fourth day since Ed had been in his room, Roy stepped carefully into the stream of steaming water. It soothed his muscles, almost washing away the last few days. He had been taking measures to avert his eyes whenever faced with seeing his own despicable body. But he recognized that in order to face the person he loved he needed to face himself first, head on. Slowly his eyes roamed down his body, starting with his chest and arms. The pallor of his flesh was nauseating to him, but not nearly as bad as the atrophying of his body. His body had shrunk noticeably in size. The toned body he had long-possessed was only hinted at now, almost completely erased by his present circumstances. He swallowed, passing his eyes further down to his genitals. His manhood hung limp, the hair surrounding it slightly thinned and dull in color. The length of him simply dangled there, the pastiness of the skin and the shrunken veins causing Mustang to look away.

Finishing his shower quickly, he turned off the water and gingerly placed his feet on the tiled floor. Too tired to dry himself off, he just set the towel atop his wet hair. He glanced at the partially fogged mirror, glad that he couldn't clearly see himself but still aware that he looked terrible. Roy tugged the towel down a little to cover his eyes and opened the door to walk into the hall.

Without even seeing him, Roy could feel Edward's stare for the two seconds he was in the hall. Roy went straight into his room without shifting his gaze, shutting the door softly. Just in case Ed chose to follow him he wrapped his towel around his waist and sat down on his bed. A few moments later he listened as one metallic and one flesh foot shuffled the handful of steps to his door.

"Roy?" Ed's voice was muffled slightly by the still-closed door.

He didn't answer, waiting.

"I came home early today. I thought you and I could talk."

More silence.

"Anyway, I'll be downstairs waiting for you." The mismatched steps faded away down the staircase.

Mustang inwardly groaned. He thought he could get himself ready for this, but just seeing his own decrepit state had shaken him. _What happened to me?_ He chuckled darkly. A vision of Edward's face flashed into his mind. The next thought answered his question. _My heart is what happened to me._

Taking his time, he dried and dressed himself. Once he had finished he left his room and cautiously descended the stairs. His mind reeled. _What is Ed wanting to say?_ He really didn't want to know, but he knew it was now or never.

After an incredibly long and arduous journey downstairs, Mustang straightened his spine to stand taller and made his way to the kitchen. The curtains were spread wide, allowing the sunlight to shine brightly into the little space. Edward instinctively shot a glance up then hurriedly cast his eyes down to his mug. Mustang could feel the tension radiating off of his slender form as he sat down in front of a second mug. He didn't touch it, simply waiting for Edward to say what he wished.

Edward finally raised his eyes to Roy's. "You look terrible."

"Thanks." Roy's gruff reply was barely audible. He kept his face blank, refusing to wince at the words and holding eye contact.

There was a pause. "Is it because of me?"

Mustang didn't speak, letting Ed decipher from his onyx eyes whatever he saw in them.

"I'm sorry." A faint blush flooded his cheeks. "I really am a terrible person. You didn't deserve that from me."

He knew Edward wasn't talking about the comment on his appearance, but rather their. . . _encounter_. The word made him shiver imperceptibly. Mustang felt dirty, both for being used and for getting aroused just thinking about it.

"I took advantage of your feelings."

"It's in the past," was all Roy managed to say.

Ed took in a breath, emptying his mug and setting it back on the rough wood surface. The following silence was almost painful.

An idea suddenly formed in Roy's head. It was a contemptible idea. "Tell me something, Fullmetal."

"What?"

"Do you enjoy being with me?"

"Of course I do."

"And you feel bad for what you did, right?" Blood was already boiling under his skin. He was sickened, but he somehow couldn't get himself to stop talking.

"I—Well, yeah." The look on Edward's face was cautiously curious.

"Then I have a way for you to make it up to me."

"What is it? I want to make it right."

"I want something from you." _Mustang, shut up, right NOW!_

"Alright. . ."

Roy stood, the adrenaline making him completely forget his weakened state. _You couldn't possibly say something so despicable. . ._ Suddenly he kicked the chair out from under the blonde, sending him crumbling to the floor.

Edward's gold eyes widened, gaping up at him. Mustang stared back coldly.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Roy raised his foot and placed it on Ed's other side, literally standing over him with Ed between his feet. He ignored every word that was inwardly screaming for him to stop. "I want your body."

"Are you serious?"

Mustang's voice was chilling. "Yes. Take off your clothes."

"Roy. . . No."

"No? I thought you felt bad, Fullmetal."

"Not enough to do let you rape me." He spat the words up at him.

Roy's body finally reacted to the situation. His face took on a pained, shocked expression as his shoulders slumped. He suddenly felt exhausted. Without a word he strode out of the house.

Several hours had passed, and the sun was beginning to set. Mustang had done nothing but wander aimlessly along the countryside, eventually finding himself in the woods miles from the house.

_What have I done?_

He couldn't stop asking that question. The sight of Edward sprawled across the floor, the shocked and confused expression on his face burning in Roy's memory.

A fist raised and he hit a tree, but not very hard. He didn't have the energy to put much effort into his motions. _Maes. . . What do I do now? I'm not the person I wanted to be._ _I lost furher. My body is useless. And I treated the person I love like a whore._ His head hung, tears stinging his eyes but refusing to fall. _Hmph. I never used to cry. Now look at me. I'm just like an infant. _

Self-loathing built up, and before he realized what he was doing he dropped to his knees and searched the leaf-strewn ground for a sharp rock. Mechanically, he etched the most familiar drawing he knew into a nearby tree. Touching his fingers to it, its leaves burst into flames. The fire licked at the darkened sky, jumping erratically from branch to branch and setting surrounding plants aflame.

A numb sensation took over his entire body, and he simply stared above him as the branches over his head lit up. _Maybe it would be better if. . ._

_If what?_

_If I died._

The thought didn't shake him in the slightest. He became aware that he had been subconsciously thinking it all along; that he was growing more and more tired of living by the day. There was nothing left in his life worth living for. Maes was gone. Riza was gone. Now Edward was gone. Roy might as well be gone too.

Flaming branches began falling around him, but he didn't flinch. Roy just closed his dimming eyes, each second ticking by slower and slower.

A limb fell with a crash just inches away from his feet. The fire was spreading among the trees, crawling down the trunks. His legs began walking, meandering through his fire. Somewhere inside him he felt the satisfaction of finally creating flame, finally performing alchemy again. It really was a wonderful way to die.

Metallic fingers wrapped around his bicep, pulling him backwards.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Edward called over the roar of the fire.

Edward's voice pulled him out of his hypnotic state. Mustang hadn't realized how load the flames had gotten, or how hot. He allowed Ed to yank him through the woods, out from under the circle of fire.

As soon as they were safe Ed crashed to his knees, stick in hand and hurriedly drawing a transmutation circle into the dirt.

"Touch the circle!"

Roy refused to move, standing over him silently.

"Activate the circle, Roy!"

Still nothing.

"Godammit, Roy!" He grabbed Mustang's wrist, jerking him to the ground and placing his hand on the circle. Mustang reflexively activated the circle, causing the flames to immediately extinguish. The resulting darkness pressed in on them both.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?!" Edward roughly seized the man by the shoulders, shaking him. "What were you thinking?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all, Fullmetal." He finally looked at Ed on the word 'Fullmetal'.

Ed clenched his teeth. "Bullshit."

Jaw set, Mustang moved to rise to his feet. Edward dragged him back down by the front of his shirt, making Roy crouch on top of him. He abruptly crushed his lips to Roy's, kissing him with more ferocity than Mustang could have imagined.

"Wha-?"

"Damn it, you've pissed me off. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore!" Edward rose to his feet, gold eyes bright with rage. The confusion was evident on his features.

"Ed."

He continued to pace, looking about and muttering to himself.

"Edward!"

"What?"

"Do you love me?"

A pause. "I love Winry, Roy."

"But do you love _me_?"

Edward froze in place. He slowly looked up to meet Mustang's gaze.

"Not as much as I love her."

Mustang returned his look. "I know." Another pause. "Edward, I'm so sorry."

A knowing look crept into Edward's eyes. He glanced down. "I know." Without raising his head he stepped forward and put his arms around him.

A lump grew in the depths of Roy's throat. His arms came up, drawing Ed closer to him. "Please, Ed. She's getting your entire life."

"Shh. I know."

"So please, give me. . ."

Edward tilted Roy's chin down, softly taking his lips again. He finished Mustang's sentence: "One night."


	14. Chapter 14

Neither of them could really justify to themselves what they were doing, what they were agreeing to. Roy knew for a fact that he had no future with Edward, and Edward couldn't escape the fact that he was cheating on Winry. Guilt mixed with anticipation stretched across Ed's features, making Roy wonder painfully if he should be allowing this to happen.

_The best thing to do would be to let it go, let him off the hook._

They entered the dark house silently; solemn faces half-hidden in shadow. Without a sound the younger man reached for his hand, tugging him gently towards the staircase.

_But I can't bring myself to do that._

Aware that he was having a difficult time climbing the stairs, Edward wrapped a possessive arm around his waist for support. The heat radiating from his body pressed into Mustang. It was surprisingly hot, even through all of the layers of clothing separating them. Unable to lift his eyes to look at him, Mustang simply permitted Ed to half-carry him up the steps into the even darker hallway.

It was completely and utterly black except for the muted moonlight that fell through the doorways of both Roy's and Edward's bedrooms. Edward removed his arm from the older man's torso and again took him by the hand, leading him forward at a snail's pace. Their intertwined fingers seemed so surreal and yet were the most reassuring and certain thing Roy had ever experienced. Roy could feel the hardened calluses on Edward's fingers rubbing between his own, mesmerizing him momentarily as they grazed his sensitive skin.

After a moment he realized that Edward was leading him to the master bedroom instead of the guest room. He stopped walking, their linked hands holding Edward's hand in place while the rest of Ed's body continued ahead. Edward felt the tug and halted, turning to peer at him curiously. Mustang simply shook his head once and headed towards his room, Edward in tow.

_I can't let him do this. . . _there_._

That room will be Winry's room. That bed will be Winry's marriage bed. It seemed ill-fitting to him to use it for such a deed as this. He using her husband for his own selfish desires was bad enough without him tainting her own room as well.

Once they had entered his room he compulsively shut the door behind them. For the first time Roy managed to look Edward straight in the eyes, a vile sickness raking at his insides.

_Is this even love, forcing him to do this?_

He struggled to speak, saying what he knew he didn't really want to say. "You don't owe me anything, Ed. You don't have to do this. We shouldn't do this."

A thick set of clouds covered the moon, cutting of the moonlight's rays entirely. They were left in total darkness. Roy was now unable to see Edward's expression. He received no reply to what he had said. He couldn't even hear Ed breathing. It was like he vanished from the room, leaving Mustang in the void of some sick nightmare. Heart thumping loudly in his chest, he stood there waiting for whatever came next.

Fingertips brushed the front of his shirt, so light that in normal circumstances Roy would not have been able to notice it. But there in that room his senses were heightened to the extreme. He could almost hear the energy coursing through his nerves, sending frenzied messages to his brain. The fingers did not even touch his body, and yet the heat from them soaked through the cloth and straight to his bones. Blindly Mustang lifted his hand towards the source of warmth, eventually finding the fingers with his own. Changing his mind, he let his hand fall back to his side. The last thing he wanted to do was rush Ed into doing anything he didn't want to do. Half of him still expected Edward to run from the room without a second glance.

Warm breath blew into his face, making Roy inhale sharply through his nose. His eyes were still adjusting to the pitch-black of the room, rendering him incapable of seeing anything at all. A thumb passed like a feather along his bottom lip, the rest of a hand cupping his jaw. Slightly chapped lips met his own, unmoving. They remained still, caught in that position for what seemed like an eternity. Finally Edward's lips moved, pressing and rubbing softly against Roy's. One of Edward's arms snaked around his lover's back, drawing him closer. Roy's hand came up and latched onto the shoulder of the younger man's shirt, clenching tightly. Edward tenderly walked Roy backwards until he was pinned against the door. The bulges in their pants barely connected, causing both of them to grunt quietly. Ed shifted to place his leg between Mustang's and slowly dragged his thigh along the other's straining groin. Roy's hands flew up, gripping the sides of the blonde's face and kissing him passionately. Their teeth scraped together as they kissed desperately. Neither fought for dominance over the other, wanting nothing more than to please each other.

Breaking the kiss, Edward tilted his head in order to reach the skin of Roy's neck with his lips. His left hand affectionately gripped the side of Roy's head while his right hand slid its way up Roy's shirt. Roy continued to grind himself against Edward's leg, rolling his hips every time they came forward.

Edward slipped Mustang's shirt over his head, coming back to kiss him again once it was on the floor. His tongue came out, licking Roy's lips sweetly before diving into his mouth. Roy yanked on Ed's hair tie, pulling it out and freeing his gold hair. After one last kiss Edward pulled away. He tugged on Roy's fingers, directing him to the bed. Mustang was glad for this, finding himself too exhausted to continue standing.

Roy lay back against the pillows, looking up at the man towering over him. He could barely make out his shadowy outline. Edward began steadily stripping away the clothes covering his body, staring intently at Mustang as he did so. His bared chest rose and fell softly, his fingers working on the clasp of his pants. Once the fly had been opened he shoved them down and off of him, fully revealing himself.

Roy swallowed at the sight of Ed's erection silhouetted from the rest of his body. Edward leaned down, crawling along the bed and eventually resting at his side. Taking Roy's hand, he guided it lower and lower until his fingers wisped against the sensitive skin of Edward's member. Mustang clenched his teeth, the silence pressing in on him as he took hold of it. Deliberately slow Roy glided his hand over it, feeling Edward press his body into his touch. Fingers fluttered at the waist of his pants, and Roy soon felt a hand work its way into his clothes in order to wrap around his arousal. They lay there side by side, running their palms and fingers over each other's manhood, their breathing hitching sporadically and growing louder.

Too soon Edward removed his hand from Roy's pants. Roy allowed himself a small moan when he pulled out of his grasp. Almost immediately he felt Edward yanking at his pants, pulling them down and throwing them onto the floor. Edward's hand searched around for the man's groin, gliding his knuckles further up Roy's naked thighs until he found it. He positioned himself between Mustang's legs, lowering himself until their sexes connected. Once they were touching he moved, rocking his member back and forth against Roy's. The heat and pressure from Ed's length made Roy whimper, and his hands reached around to clasp Edward's butt. Edward continued rubbing their erections together, picking up speed and pressing down harder with each movement. Roy in his weakened condition was unable to hold back for long. His climax convulsed his body, seizing him as he opened his mouth in a silent "O". His breath came in choked gasps as he struggled to regain control. The man above him planted kisses on his face and neck as his breathing evened.

Ed dipped his fingers into the mess from the orgasm, mixing it with his dripping fluid to smear it along his length. He pushed Roy's knees apart, panting heavily with his desire. Throbbing, Edward's swollen sex twitched as he brought it to his exposed entrance. Waiting no longer, he positioned his erection and tried to inch himself in.

"Oh, god! Ed, stop!" Mustang cried through gritted teeth.

Edward froze, instantly afraid. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"You have to . . . _prepare_ me first. I'm too tight."

He immediately pulled out. "I'm sorry. . . I-I've never been with anyone before. I don't know what I'm doing."

Roy felt Edward lean away slightly in shame. He shoved away the pang of guilt of taking Edward's virginity and began to speak again.

"Just take it slow. Use one finger at a time."

Edward nodded in the darkness, sucking on his fingers at length before bringing his hand down. Roy gasped at Ed's finger as he penetrated, gently wiggling his finger inside of him while moving in and out. Soon after he added another, thoughtfully working at the muscles. Roy grew impatient, lifting a foot and nudging Edward in the butt to indicate he was ready.

"I want you. So badly." Edward whispered. Raising Roy's legs out of the way, he again poised his member at thrust forward. He let out an astonished gasp as his erection slid gradually farther into him.

Roy was in pain, but it was nothing compared to other pains he had had before. Though it was a strange sensation, the eroticism of it clouded any qualms Mustang might have had with it. Ed's sex filled him slowly, spreading his muscles little by little until he was in to the hilt.

Once he was entirely sheathed Ed let out a huff of air, pressing his body on top of Roy. "Roy. . . I don't think I'm going to last long."

"Just take your time. It's alright."

They lay there intertwined for a moment, catching their breath before proceeding. Ed experimentally drew out a third of the way and then pushed himself back in again. The moan that escaped his lips was absolutely beautiful. Next he pulled out halfway, thrusting forward a little harder into Roy's depths. He continued experimenting, thrusting in gently at different angles and speeds. Sweat broke out on his back with his effort to control himself.

"Edward, please. Harder. I need it."

Edward's hands urgently clenched the other man's butt and lifted, adding a more drastic angle to their love-making. He thrust into him over and over, picking up speed and ferocity as he went. With a snarl he pumped into Roy roughly.

Roy realized quickly that he needed more in order to come. The man inside of him didn't have enough experience to have the precision needed for an orgasm. His hand wound around his manhood and pumped to the rhythm that Edward had set.

"Roy! Are-you almost-there?!" Edward pleaded between thrusts.

"Ugh!" was all Roy managed to say as he came, spurting strongly. Relieved, Ed thrust a few more times and came. The shock of it shook their bodies as their heat exploded.

Once the convulsions had passed, Edward removed himself from Mustang's entrance and flopped back onto the bed beside him. His arm reached around, searching for something to clean them up with. He fingers caught on a shirt and he wiped Roy off before he cleaned himself.

Edward curled into Roy's arm and quickly fell asleep without a word. He tightened his hold on the younger man's body, securing him to his side. _I'm surprised my heart was unaffected. I guess _he_'s the only one that can keep it in check._ He smiled grimly, not missing the misfortune of that fact.

Roy sighed, unable to believe that he had finally gotten what he wanted. Now all he needed was for the sun to never rise.

A/N: First of all I'd like to thank everyone who has stuck around to make it this far in my story. It means a lot to me that people enjoy my little online project.

Wow, Chapters 13 and 14 (particularly 13) did NOT turn out the way I had originally planned them. But I like it nonetheless. :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was incredibly hard to write and took hours. Unless plans change, there is only one chapter left. I'll do my best to get it published soon, but I have a ton going on next week. Keep reading and reviewing!


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I hope you liked chapter 14! I decided to make Roy the uke for once. It doesn't happen too often!**

Mustang had awoken the next morning alone, the only indication of the previous night being his sore muscles. Crossing the hall to his bathroom, he noticed that he had harder time moving about. He was much more fatigued than he had been in the past weeks. As the shower water washed over him, Roy struggled to keep his mind from wandering to what had happened. He simply stood there, bathing as quickly as he could before he collapsed from exhaustion. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get the visions of last night out of his head.

_That. . . I'm a monster. What have I done? _

He grimaced, willing into his arm the strength to turn the faucet off. _I've wanted nothing but to make him happy, and I've done everything to ensure that he never will be._

Not bothering to dry himself, he wrapped the towel around his waist and went back into his room.

_I've _used_ him. _

Roy couldn't bring himself to touch the tainted bed, so he gripped the dresser and lowered himself to the floor. Every time he closed his eyes there were Edward's hands, touching him. There were Edward's lips, kissing him. Disgusted, he leaned back against the dresser, staring up at the ceiling. The tousled sheets almost pulsed at him, demanding his attention. He stood, turning his back to the sinful thing and reached for his clothes.

Eventually Mustang made it down the steps, fully clothed, suitcase in hand. He didn't even have the energy to pretend he wasn't sick anymore. Slouching, Mustang leaned against the wall and dropped his suitcase with a thud. The color in his face was nonexistent. Roy met Ed's eyes with a steady, masked expression.

The look on Ed's face wasn't of shock or even hatred. It was almost nonchalant.

"I'll call you a cab."

He disappeared to make the phone call. Tired, Roy nearly fell onto the steps. The silence was overpowering, his brown suitcase looming darkly just feet away. After what seemed like forever Mustang heard a car horn sound. Waiting a few moments, he expected to have one last goodbye. It quickly became apparent that Edward was not coming back from the kitchen.

He smiled bitterly to himself. _Looks like the heroes of Amestris aren't so heroic after all, huh Hughes?_

With that Roy staggered to his feet, tugged on his coat, picked up his luggage, and left, feeling more ashamed and betrayed than he had ever felt before.

Days passed and the loneliness crushed Edward slowly. He cleaned the entire house from top to bottom, erasing any remnants of his guest. With each day he wondered desperately when Winry was going to arrive, pushing Roy further and further from his thoughts.

_He got what he wanted. I gave him all I could._

A week went by, and all of his time was spent perfecting every detail of the home he had built for his future wife and awaiting her return.

Edward was surprised to find a letter among his mail one day. Opening it, he soon discerned that it was in fact Winry's handwriting.

Ed,

I'm not coming back. I know that I should, but I can't marry you. We can't go back to the way life was. I need to move on without you.

I'm sorry.

Winry

A single tear slid down his face, dripping off his chin onto the wrinkled sheet of lined paper. Clenching it in his fist, he turned on his heel and ran out the front door.

END

**A/N: If you want to throw things at me, good. If you hate all three of them, even better! This chapter was short for a reason. I swear I didn't just get lazy. Things just happened in a whirl of horrible decision making on their parts. I feel that the actions are blunt and needed to be presented bluntly. I also wanted you to make up your own reasoning behind their behavior.**

**Wow, this story started out as a short excuse to write my own yaoi and it turned into this!**

**Thank you for sticking around through this roller coaster ride to the very end! I'm sorry that the writing isn't of the highest quality. Basically I'd type up a chapter and post it online as soon as it was done without any re-writing or editing. I'm so glad to have this finally done! PLEASE let me know what you think of the story, and thanks again!**

**NEW A/N! Everyone, thank you for your support and your time. I am proud to announce that I have begun a sequel to this story! The sequel is titled The Heroes of Amestris II so if you are interested or unsatisfied by my ending, please feel free to look up this new story to continue Roy's adventures!**


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